surrender the sun
by simza
Summary: Unable to see a life outside of the café, she decides to take a peek into the world of a kind-eyed businessman. Uncertain familiarity pulls these solitairy figures together. Uni/Gamma AU
1. tea

Disclaimer: KHR! belongs to Amano Akira. This story and concept belong to me, though. Enjoy!

**[chapter 01 : tea]**

Ruddy.

It was a good word. It didn't fit in with other adjectives like _azure,_ _vermillion_, or_ onyx_. Those words rolled off of your tongue like a secret spell. They were fragile-sounding and almost intangible.

Thinking of her boss's ruddy complexion, and carrying a cup of tea that was almost as ruddy as the solitary customer's tie, Uni wondered why the color meant so much to her. She couldn't remember when she had started to find solace in the hue.

"Here you are." She set the steaming cup on the table, turning the handle to face the man. His eyes looked appreciative as he mumbled his thanks. After checking his watch, the man resumed observing the people that walked past the café on that busy day. He didn't touch the tea. He never touched the tea. He'd drink the coffee, he'd eat the pastry, anything else in the café he ordered. But he never gave the tea another glance. Not even after the steam stopped trailing in the air, not even after it became unappealing to drink.

Uni returned to the counter and thought about the people being watched by the tea man. Did they care that he watched them? Would they care if she watched them, too? The people walking down the streets, past the café, until she couldn't see them anymore; they made her wish she could keep strolling until she couldn't see where the roads began.

She didn't like that, though. No, she'd rather be near the beginning.

The clock of the café struck 1pm. The jazzy chime aroused the tea man from his people-watching, and he started to feel for his wallet. Uni kept her eyes on the cup as the man set a couple of dollars on the table and ran his fingers quickly through his blond hair. When he began to stand up to leave, she left the counter to collect the money and lock the doors for the afternoon; the busy evening shift wasn't hers, and Uni was almost relieved at that.

The man stopped at the door and thanked her again, a habit he had. For some reason, Uni felt a bit guilty.

"Did you enjoy the tea?" she asked, departing from her usual response consisting of a nod and a "Come again, sir."

Taken aback at her question, the man smile crookedly and glanced at the lonely cup. "You always make the best tea." He opened the door and walked out.

Uni took a few steps after him, thinking she should have said "thank you." Instead she called after him, "I like your tie." Her voice was just a little too quiet for her to sound bold, but he heard her anyway. The man smiled kindly again and thanked her, again. And then he joined the people he found so interesting, becoming part of a stream of figures that ended and began continuously.

She waited until she couldn't see him anymore. With a slow and deliberate movement, Uni shut and locked the door. Pocketing the tip and feeding the rest of the money into the register, she emptied the cup of cold ruddiness down the sink, the liquid sloshing all over until it reached a common end.

Uni found comfort in the color, but in the end it always made her feel empty.

**A/N**: Sorry for the short first chapter! I have more planned out for the next one. If you have comments or constructive criticism, please let me know. Thanks for reading!


	2. time

Disclaimer: KHR! belongs to Amano Akira. This story and concept are still mine, though. Happy reading!

**[chapter 02: time]**

The sound of the door unlocking. The sound of tired, searching feet making their way across the empty first floor. Even without opening her eyes to see the clock, she already knew what time it was: 3:57 pm. Every day, like clockwork, the noises of her returning boss would rupture the silence of the café at exactly 3:57. Uni could count on it; in fact, she even looked forward to that time. It was a strange quirk of hers, waiting to see if that pattern would ever be disrupted, and glad when she would be proven wrong.

She pondered whether or not she should meet him downstairs. He would come up to her room and exchange a few words if she didn't. Their conversation was always the same. It always ended at 4:06.

_Knock. Knock._

"Yes." Uni sat up on her bed just as a scarlet-haired man entered through the door. "Irie."

"Uni, how was your day?" The voice accompanying that intelligent face was solemn, hints of a long day creeping in at the end of his words. "Were there a lot of customers?"

"No. Just…you know. He usually comes by and orders something light." His smile and tie came to mind first, but it's hard to identify someone with temporary features.

"Eh, tall and blond? Just him?"

"That's right." Uni scratched the back of her neck and glanced at her desk clock. _4:04 pm_. "I mean, the morning shift is usually easy."

"That's kind of why I gave it to you. The late customers like to talk. …Topics I think I'll spare you."

The corners of her mouth twitched upwards. She noticed her hand was twisting creases into the end of her bedspread. The smile was still on her face. "You're better with people than I am."

"Maybe." Shouichi began to shrug off his jacket, and let out a stiff breath. "We have time before we need to open the café again. Would you like to go and get an early dinner somewhere?"

"Okay." She didn't know why she answered that way. In all honesty, she didn't particularly want to go anywhere, or eat anything. Shouichi wouldn't have even been her first choice for company if she _did_ want to go out to eat. Then again, no one would have been on her list of possible dinner companions. In this town where she hardly knew anyone outside of the café, Uni hardly thought of going to a local restaurant. Maybe the reason as to why she consented was because she trusted him and wanted to keep him company. Maybe she wanted to talk to somebody, or rather, to _him_ specifically.

Maybe she just wanted a glimpse outside.

"Are you ready to go right now? I'm just going to clean up and change my shirt or something." He was already out of the room.

Uni nodded, even when she knew he couldn't see her. "I'll meet you outside?" She gave the clock a last, brief glance. _4:06 pm_. No, 4:07. Oh well.

"Sure."

* * *

"Do you like it? Living with me, I mean?" He gave her a sideways glance. His expression was rather cold. His glasses gave him a mature air, though personality-wise, he still wasn't the cheeriest of fellows.

Uni winced at the straightforward question. She hadn't really thought of it, of whether she liked it or not. "Yes, of course I do! I'm really grateful you're letting me stay with you." Why did her voice sound like her mother's just then? That same voice, when she wanted to change topics…

Shouichi toyed with the clear box that previously held his sandwich dinner. He could hear it, too. There was still a lot of hurt in her words. He felt just as uncomfortable talking about it as she did, but he wanted her to know he wasn't sweeping the past under the rug completely. "Yeah…but you don't mind? Doing the same thing everyday doesn't bother you?"

"No." She swallowed the lump in her throat. "Not at all."

"Good, ok." Guilt assaulted the man as he abandoned the subject. If she didn't mind it, he wouldn't bring it up again. He would wait until the scars were just silvery stripes against her heart. Maybe she would want to talk about the old days then. Or maybe she never would. He was okay with that.

The two sat in silence. The town plaza was thinly spread with people this time of day, and even the birds had found a better place for entertainment and a meal. It was a dull place to be, but for the two of them, it was better than sitting in an empty café. The clock would tick and they would run out of things to say. Small talk would get increasingly uncomfortable. They would shift their eyes away from the other and look around for something interesting to talk about or just something to hold their attention. But everything was always the same in that café; the identical chairs and tables set up in the same fashion, the rows of cups and machines neat and static. And each other. They were the same, too. Here in the plaza, at least they didn't have to face each other. Uni could hide her watery gaze; Shouichi could conceal his upset frown.

But they were both thinking about the same thing.

Shouichi moved first, placing a hesitant hand on the young girl's shoulder and trying to make his voice sound reassuring. "Wanna head back now? Not much to do here right now."

Her black hair bounced with her slight nod. "Yeah, let's go." Her voice was barely a whisper. When he held out his crooked arm to her, she linked hers through, and synchronized her steps with his. Walking like this, connected like this, Uni fancied herself one half of a person. Needed, necessary. Shouichi also felt they were two parts making up a whole. He was the support, she was the feeling. He was the body, she was the soul. She could fly away at any time, and he would always be grounded, unable to catch her.

They walked back home as two whole people pretending to be only half of themselves, the half they liked best.

Uni retired to her room upon returning to the café. Shouichi could manage setting up for the six o'clock shift on his own. She didn't really feel like her presence was needed there after she closed shop. She disliked being an extra and an inconvenience.

The sounds of her red-haired living companion moving things around soon gave way to the chattering of people as the evening started to chase away the sunlight. Laughing and the clinking of platters against empty cups created a soft melody that accompanied the ending of the day.

With nothing else to do, Uni let her mind wander. She thought of the people, she thought of Shouichi, she thought of her mother. The last person filled her mind and heart too quickly with a myriad of feelings, so the girl tried to force a more pleasant subject in.

The blond man from her early shift came to mind. Yes, he was pleasant to think about. His smile was nice and familiar. Uni hoped they could talk more, if it didn't make her seem to nosy or overbearing. She knew she would see him again, at least. Like clockwork, he would show up and sit by the window and people-watch. He would order something, leave, and then thank her. She could count on it, she looked forward to it.

More than anything, she enjoyed the fact that he was consistent in his schedule. He and Shouichi. They were both her clocks, and she was somewhere in between, her time moving in its own, strange direction. Did time work differently for her? Or perhaps it did not favor her too much?

After a long while, the fingers of the night sky reached out and grasped away the remaining rays of the sun. Uni watched as stars popped up outside of her window. The sound of people was still audible in the café down below. The girl let her eyes flutter shut and absorbed the voices. They were _nice_ sounds. She almost wished she could mingle with the people and talk about fun and laughable things.

Shouichi would let her, but she knew he would worry for her.

Uni decided to crawl under her sheets and let the laughter and conversations lull her to sleep. Her mind was still so full. She focused her blue eyes on her clock, but the numbers were barely visible. Unable to see the time, she made up her own number and counted in her head. _10:08._ That was a nice place to start. From there she would count sixty seconds, and move to 10:09. Uni repeated the process for several minutes before she found herself repeating numbers. She forced herself to count until she reached 10:27. By that time her mind lost its own voice, but time still kept going.

**A/N:** Er, I hope that wasn't so depressing! Comments and constructive criticism are always welcome! Thank you for reading!


	3. hands

**[chapter 03: hands]**

"Cloudy out."

"I'm taking my umbrella, just in case."

"That's a good idea." Shouichi held out his own, a dark green hue. "But this one is wider and will cover you and the bags."Uni nodded, accepting the umbrella. She was mildly disappointed she wouldn't be working her shift that morning, taking the day off in favor of taking care of some much needed shopping. But it was days like these, cloudy and murky with rain, that she liked best. If people saw her watery eyes, they could just assume it was the rain's reflection.

The auburn-haired man waved and saw her off with his usual solemn expression. The door closed behind Uni with the ring of the café bell. The world outside was open and seemed to welcome her.

Rows of shops lined up along the streets of the town. Clusters of people roamed about, staying within reach of store doors, should a sudden downpour occur. Uni walked bravely; she had Shouichi's umbrella. Just as he did, she knew it, too. The umbrella, colored such a deep green like the rain-nourished earth, was a replacement for him in this tumultuous weather. Were he here, he would surely shield her and warm her. But, for now, she walked solitary.

With a list sitting patiently in her coat pocket, she walked towards a small family-owned grocery stand. The young woman standing beside it greeted her warmly in the chilly breeze. Uni smiled and commented on the heavy clouds. The response she got was a friendly shrug and a determined grin. Uni observed the fresh produce. Her hands, gray-tinted under the light of the sky, brushed against bright hues, vibrant oranges and greens. Even the red-colored fruits seemed to cheerfully withstand the icy air. She chose the ones that held firm against her fingers, ones that didn't bend or yield, that weren't like her. Ones that didn't share her monochromatic palette, painted gray and black and white. Brush strokes against her canvas, day by day slowly becoming a still-life portrait. Happy colors, pleasant colors, smiled back at her from the boxy bag. She plucked the money from her pocket and handed it to the woman. The change was given back in a gloveless hand, but she had a natural warmth. Uni thanked her, wished her a nice day, and slipped her own corpse-hand into her coat pocket, still holding the warm coins.

A light drizzle fell upon the town, the clouds still thick and permitting little sunlight. Several shoppers remained, the others returning home for a noontime meal or to beat the rain. The next stop on Uni's list was a mini-mart to pick up some bread and cereal. Shouichi didn't have a specific favorite, but she had learned his likes and dislikes during the months since she began living with him. As for her, food had lost it's flavor. She ate only when necessary, preferring hot spice tea for a snack. Whether on cold days or hot, it filled her with warmth and meaning. These days especially, it seemed to fill a void somewhere in her body she couldn't pinpoint. Thin liquid, spices seeping and darkening the water only until she could barely make out the bottom of the cup. That was what she enjoyed most. She drank it until she saw the end. And by that time, it was okay; she could bring herself to see the emptiness and not empathize.

Uni felt too much, too strongly. She had been told that many times when she was younger. It was never a problem, because nothing had ever provoked emotions strong enough to disrupt her life then. _That's not true now_, she thought to herself, squeezing a loaf of wheat bread and picking it off of the shelf. A wistful sigh escaped her lips, and she yearned for the days when she could say nothing bothered her too much. Or when things _did_ bother her. Her emotions were strong, still, but instead of the diversity of her youth, there was only one she could truly feel inside and out.

With a mind full of thoughts, she walked over to the row of cereal boxes and took the one with a picture of oats on the front. By now, she wanted to leave. Perhaps it was the small place, or the little act of domesticity that affected her and dredged up sleeping feelings. But she felt uneasy, being in that particular place, doing that particular thing, with no sky to watch over her. She wanted to go to the plaza, sit with the birds. They can fly away and live like vagabonds.

Uni stepped into line, behind a woman and her child. The rain began to fall harder. The little girl whined and wanted her umbrella, which her mother refused to give her until they got outside. Uni listened to them while watching the glass window blur from the relentless drops. Colors swirled and bled into one another. Images frayed and became shapeless figures. The woman in front of her pushed her inky, shoulder-length hair from her neck as she paid for her items. Her red gloved hand reached for her daughter's mitten and, with a sweet tone, invited her to hold it. Uni averted her gaze. She had owned mittens once, too, and a pretty hand clad in a glove would reach to take her own.

She saw the image in her head. A mother and daughter, like the ones walking out of the mini-mart, holding hands, just like _they_ were. Hands released the cereal and bread on to the counter and ears only faintly heard the "Hello, how are you" from behind the cash register. Uni could see the image, details hazy except for the woman's dark hair brushing over slender shoulders and a girl whose heart was big and full of life. The latter she had known from the beginning. The image was old, dated. Uni owned the updated copy; this time, just the girl, not so much a child now, with no hands to hold and a heart still big but half-empty.

The black haired girl paid and left the store, opening Shouichi's umbrella. He knew her well. He knew she would need him. And she did, to shield her from the rain, which, even though the umbrella was quite large, still didn't prevent drops from falling on her cheeks.

* * *

Uni kept her plan to go to the plaza, now empty. No birds hopped by to keep her company. They were gone and sleeping. But she stood there, watching a handful of umbrellas farther off walking in their holder's desired direction. A veil of water separated her and them. They were faces she did not recognize. Bodies moving away from her even while walking towards her. It was more than just the water. But she could feel puddles forming around her feet and soaking her as rain does a plant.

The green umbrella tilted up, letting her blur eyes catch a glimpse at the sky. The rain was here, now all she needed was the sun to help her grow. Hopefully then, the water wouldn't have dried up.

Uni took a step away from the plaza and traveled the long way home. Her bare fingers were numb, holding the bags and steadying the umbrella. She made a mental note to buy new gloves, and thought of the woman in the mini-mart. Her shoulders slumped. Maybe she should talk to more people. Then she wouldn't rely so much on her memories, which evidently weren't successful in cheering her up. When she neared a corner, Uni caught sight of a scarlet umbrella walking the same direction. Under it was a lean black suit and a cigarette. Smoke puffed and dissolved quickly around the figure who walked it's own pace down a drenched sidewalk.

She followed. They walked in sync for a block before the figure turned to round a corner and noticed it's shadow. The red umbrella shifted to reveal a recognizable face. Blond hair. Lips that knew how to smile, and did so quite often, but were busy pursed around a white cigarette. He wasn't sitting by a window and watching people, but there weren't many out today, anyway.

"Hello there," he greeted after freeing his mouth. His trademark grin appeared; it belonged there.

"Hi." It was all she could say. She certainly wasn't expecting to see him outside of her job.

A moment of silence hung in the damp air. "You weren't working at the café today. Day off?" Did he have somewhere he needed to be?

"I had to go shopping." She lifted her hand to make the bags noticeable. Her eyes searched his for a cue to talk a bit longer. He was unreadable, in the friendliest of ways. "Were you there?"

The man fiddled with his cigarette and kept his eyes on the girl before him. "For a bit, I was. I fit it in my schedule every day if I can."

Uni tried to smile. It was uncomfortable trying to make small-talk with a customer outside of the café. The fact that she didn't know him made it even more uneasy for her. "That's very nice. My boss and I really appreciate it." What else could she talk about? Maybe she should keep on her way. "Well, I should be going. I don't want to get caught in the heavy rain with groceries."

"Did you want some help?" He held out a hand; he replaced the cigarette in his mouth to make it available.

Uni looked down at her bags. They weren't heavy. The company would be nice. "No, I'm good. I don't have much." But she was talking the long way home, what if she met trouble along the way? No, no. What trouble could she face? Boring herself? Depressing herself? She's survived days like that. Just keep walking.

"Would you like me to keep you company on your walk back, then?"

Uni nodded against her inner protests. _Can't be rude to a customer, even outside of work,_ she justified. She just wanted the company. That wasn't so bad, so selfish. Or so she repeatedly told herself. If she walked quickly, neither of their time would be wasted much.

Rain-soaked shoes took soggy steps towards the café. Uni kept her umbrella tilted to hide her eyes. If she wasn't going to talk, why drag him along with her? But maybe he walked because he wanted to; she didn't exactly_ make _him agree to it. If that was the case, she shouldn't feel guilty about keeping him from his agenda. She tilted her umbrella lower.

The man was content walking and listening to the sound of the shower. The smell of wet concrete permeated through the smoky scent emitting from the dying cigarette. The street was empty save for the two of them, two people walking as if separated by a wall, not sure if they were walking beside the other or falling behind. He stole a glance back at the young woman to make sure she was still there. Yes, she continued to walk next to him, but watery green covered most of her face. All he could see was a small pink mouth twitching every now and then. If there were words behind it, waiting to escape, he didn't know. Instead of pushing to find out, the man leaned his red umbrella on his shoulder and stared at the open streets.

The café came into view, stony walls and all. "Looks like we're here," the man offered. He stopped several feet from the entrance and turned to face the dark-haired girl. She had removed the umbrella from her face and looked inside the café. Her eyes found whatever she was searching for, and she smiled at the man. It was cautious, shy.

"Thank you..." Blue eyes stared up as if to ask to finish the sentence.

The man caught on and returned her smile, this one not at all timid but friendly. "Gamma." He moved to hold out his hand, but remembered her bags and stopped himself. "And yours, miss?"

"My name is Uni." She took a step towards the café entrance. "Thank you, again."

"It was a pleasure." His eyes looked like he meant it. "Guess I'll see you tomorrow, Miss Uni. Have yourself a nice day."

"You, too."

They walked their separate ways.

Both of them thinking about the next day and what it could mean for them. Would it be like days before, silent save for the formalities? Surely, like the rain connects the sky and earth, they too must have been connected by the indifferent deluge.

* * *

**A/N:** I am so sorry for the slow update! This chapter was actually hard to write, because I really wanted Uni and Gamma to have some interaction. So I ended up writing this chapter three times before I sat down and made myself rewrite the entire thing in one sitting. I find I write better when I do that =) Anyway, let me know what you think of chapter 3! I hope all of the revisions made this an interesting read!


	4. just a day

**[chapter 04: just a day]**

The tempest had ceased.

The sky was clear blue, save for the last few clouds dancing off after their rage. Winds passing through the town were thin and cold, nipping the bare flesh and disappearing without a trace, without looking behind. Taking with them the last remnants of rain, but unable to touch what had been nourished by the falling water.

Yes, the tempest had ceased, but what was left behind?

The sun cast it's shadows as if to prove it still existed.

In a small café nestled in the town, a young woman busied herself serving the only customer of her morning shift. Their words were short and courteous, the man smiling with his mouth and eyes at the server whose lips only curved up, eyes searching for something to say and finding herself asking only if he needed anything else.

His reply was no, he was alright, thank you. Could she deny that she was disappointed?

But if she found something to talk about with him, she wouldn't have been able to watch him from behind the counter, where she pretended to fill another pot of coffee. His hands, strong and hard, tapped against the table along to a tune playing on the radio. Fingers that nimbly straightened his tie, that smoothly held a cigarette, wrapped around the handle of a mug that steamed with dark coffee. Lips that could arch into a smile, speak words simple in meaning and suave in tone, that had probably met sweeter tastes than the bitter coffee, took in the pitch-black liquid unfamiliar with the generosity of a milky touch.

And eyes that could see the people outside of the café walking, or see the world behind them, a world changing in hue and feeling.

Uni wondered, when those eyes looked upon her, what did they see? Just a girl, with arms and legs and a beating heart like everyone else? Or a girl whose eyes mirrored the sky, arms like the sea that wished to touch more than the grains of time and whatever else had been left behind?

She couldn't say anything. Words caught in her throat, snagged by her anxiety and her fear of rejection. Gamma's kindness from yesterday didn't seem to differ, but Uni felt _she _had been altered, and the eyes through which she saw him had changed focus. Uni wanted his friendship, because of the gentleness of his eyes and words, even though his words were few and so were hers. Friendship seemed like a lot for someone like her to ask of a man who wore his red tie and smiled while drinking bitter coffee.

But, still, she wanted it. A friendship not born out of obligation or sympathy. Even if Uni feared wishing for something, afraid it would be taken away from her.

When Gamma paid and made to leave, he turned to habitually smile and thank his server. His smile today danced with hints of familiarity, sprouting from seeds planted, nurtured by the rain of a day passed. And from the young girl, it coaxed a less-fearful smile of her own.

"Have a wonderful day, Miss Uni. I'll see you tomorrow." He ran his fingers through his blond hair, grinning and hoping his last sentence didn't sound like a question, like he was asking her if she wanted to see him the following day. But at the same time, he wanted to hear her confirmation. Yes, they could meet again for coffee tomorrow, even if he was sitting and sipping it while she stood several feet away brewing the drink. And he could pretend he didn't feel her eyes on him while fighting the urge to let his own linger on her. If all they exchanged were a few words, it was fine by him.

The dark-haired girl nodded, strands of black brushing her cheeks. Her half-smile had not faded, though it wavered. "Have a nice day," was her response. The man guiltily expected more from her; she did, too.

He left and walked along, his mind on the girl and wondered of the words and thoughts that seemed to propel those cobalt eyes more so than they did her fragile lips.

And she returned to her position at the counter, his presence still lingering in the seat by the window and arousing in her the desire to speak to him. Whose ears would hear her mumbled sentences? Surely not he, the man to whom she had nothing to ask but wished to hear a soothing voice unmarred by her own sadness.

But…there was one. One who could hear her, who always heard her. Whether or not she was alone, and even now, they were listening to her silence.

Uni thought of the next day. Yes, she would see him; she had not lied.

There was another she had to see, as well.

She wondered what they thought of the man who was numb to bitter coffee.

* * *

**A/N: **I'm sorry for the short, eventless chapter! I have the next two planned out, so this was a sort of link between the last chapter and future happenings. I'll be away for several days, though, and I won't be able to do much writing =( Sorry there was so little dialogue, too. I like them better when they talk outside of the café. It's not as…awkward? What do you think? Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this story, it really means a lot to me!


	5. one year

**[chapter 05: one year]**

The day begun as days usually did.

Like bleeding watercolors, the dark sky faded into light, cheery blue.

And people would chatter until the air and skies were brimming with words of all emotions, spoken in different tongues, sometimes to other people, and sometimes to oneself.

Life would begin anew for wailing infants, and it would end for murmuring elders.

And sometimes it would end for those least expecting it, like a healthy leaf pulled by a bored and mischievous child. But a tree could replace it's leaves; this world, also, could replace it's departed.

One never knew which life was brought into the world in place of the one taken from it.

Uni stepped though the iron gates, coal-hued boots making noise on the quiet cobblestone path.

With arms cradling a pretty bundle of orchids, she made her way past the sighing trees that protectively shielded all from the nosy sunlight. Uni thought of the child born the moment her mother passed away, the child that was now breathing the air her mother used to, feeling the warm sun on their skin. Laughing and crying and _living, _while her mother lay cold and expressionless beneath the earth.

The girl stopped in front of a simple slab nestled in the grassy plot. Shuddering a bit, she knelt down and placed the flowers in the cavity next to the stone. She didn't want to think about another life, because she knew cruel thoughts would take the place of innocent musings.

_It was her time. _That was what she was told.

_She's not in pain anymore_. And she was _happy _at that, but what about herself? What about her own pain? Why was the heartache of those left behind dismissed as trivial compared to the suffering of the now-deceased?

Because, no matter how many years passed, she was still a child who needed her mother. Her love and her protection, her smile and her praise, her scolding and her advice.

All she had now were memories. She would never again hear her mother's silvery laugh, feel her slender, yet calloused hands upon her forehead when she was ill, or clasping her own childish hand. The effervescent blue eyes, which Uni had inherited, but with not even half of her mother's liveliness, would never meet hers again, or dance with laughter. They wouldn't swim with tears when Uni would hurt. They would never open again.

Uni had to strain to remember her mother's voice. It still caused her much sadness to think of her mother, but she didn't not want to forget her soothing voice. Because it then would become a part of her imagination, something she would make up. It wouldn't even be her mother's voice anymore.

She touched the name engraved on the stone. _Aria._ It meant "air" in their native Italian. Uni loved her mother's name. She would always think her mother was like the air she breathed; she needed her to live, _because _of her, she was alive. Now, she could feel herself suffocating. And right now, she so desperately wanted her mother.

A choked sob jumped from the girl's throat. Her eyes lost the stony name in blurry tears, hands covering her mouth to stifle her crying. She doubled over, unable to reign in her sadness, now rushing from her in a passionate frenzy.

_Mama, hear me._

_Hear me, please, mama._

_Stay with me. Stay with me, stay with me._

Musical laughing, and a story of a grandmother she never knew. She was holding her hand as she lay in bed, lines of pain and weariness marking her face, but she was still smiling.

_Stay with me, mama._

The day a doctor came in and told her to stay on bed-rest until he gave her the "OK" to move about again. He never did, and Aria knew he wouldn't. She got out of bed the next day and took Uni to swim in the lake twenty minutes away.

_Please, oh, please…_

And when they returned home, her mother had gotten a nosebleed. Uni looked at her, scared and crying, while Aria pressed a cloth to her nose and commented how red was a beautiful color, it meant that they were alive.

_Please…_

That night, she told Uni about her father. They were words Uni had forgotten, but she remembered her mother's closing line. _Sometimes, all you need is a mother's love. When you become a mother, Uni… _At that moment, Aria began to cry. It was the only time Uni saw her mother cry with every part of her being, her face crumpled and body shaking with sobs. Uni grew teary and promised her mother over and over that she would stay a child forever, she wouldn't grow up and have children until she was much, much older. But that wasn't why Aria was crying.

_Mama…_

Now, Uni could see. She had been crying because she would never get to see it happen.

"Mama…"

Aria couldn't get out of bed the next day. When Uni saw her, she was visibly tired, but she still had the energy to laughingly curse the doctor. The girl smiled nervously and asked her mother if she would be alright. _You're tough, right, Mama? _Aria was still laughing, though softly now. She pulled her daughter close to her chest and closed her eyes. They were silent for a few minutes. Then she spoke. _You're so strong, Uni…_

_No, mama. I'm not strong, at all._

The next few days were a blur of red coughing fits and ragged breathing. Aria constantly assured Uni she was alright, and sternly ordered her not to call back the doctor. _Mama, how about a different doctor, then! _She shook her head, not that doctor, or _any_ for that matter.

So Uni sat by her mother's side, anxiety gnawing at her but she would listen to whatever her mother wanted. _You're so helpful, Uni, _Aria had said, exhausted after a frightful bout of coughing, and Uni had offered clean hand towels. _I love you, Uni._

She didn't know what to do when the doctor woke her up one day, telling her to call their relatives, her mother had-

But she was helpful, she could help the doctor, right? Her mother said she was such a helpful girl!

He thrust the home phone at her, telling her she couldn't do a thing, neither could he, call her father or an uncle or _someone._

Uni stammered that she didn't have a father, Aria had no siblings or living parents. But she clutched the phone and then remembered a friend or her mother's. Although he wasn't really a friend in the typical sense of the word, Uni said it to placate the harried doctor, who nodded and rushed to her mother's room.

Flustered, she dialed the number of a man who owned a café her mother would go to occasionally. Her mother had spoken well of him, recalling engaging conversations they had. He answered, and Uni mumbled a nervous introduction, then begged him to come over. After getting her address, he told her he would be there soon.

She was crying by the time he arrived, a red-haired fellow whose voice was calm but his eyes darted around, wondering what exactly had gone on. He had known the woman concerned, somewhat, talking with her after she prompted him with some strange, profound questions. Why her daughter was calling him to come to their house, he hadn't a clue, nor did he want to venture a guess.

After a hushed, hurried conversation with the doctor, the man, Shouichi, turned to Uni and leveled his gaze with hers._ Your mother passed away._ The words were simple, succinct. But they did nothing for the young girl, who stumbled into her mother's room, eyes meeting the still, pale figure tucked in the blankets just as Uni had left her the night before, as she kissed her copper-scented lips good-night.

_Mama, I'm sorry I left you all alone!_

At the funeral, Shouichi asked her if she wanted to live with him. Uni stared as the cemetery workers lowered the casket into the ground. Goodbye, Mother. Will you be cold, will you be sad? Can't I hug you just one last time? I love you, do you know that, Mama?

He repeated his question, uncomfortable with her silence. Uni nodded, as she threw in a large sunflower she had been holding. It landed upon the coffin with a sad thud. _I don't know what flower my mother liked, but I feel like I have to give one to her. Is it just the dead that get flowers? _She doesn't remember her mother getting flowers, except on Mother's Day from Uni.

Shouichi didn't answer.

He took her home and showed her the room she would be staying in, and she thanked him, tearing up. But that night, she slept with him in his bed. Her arms held him tight, while he stroked her head awkwardly, paternal instincts not quite kicking in. She cried silently but he could feel her shaking. He wouldn't tell her "It's alright." He wasn't a liar, and he wasn't a person who gave false reassurances.

The next morning, Uni felt bad about making him share his bed. But she also wondered if it was "wrong," if maybe it was something reserved for certain people. When she asked him, he told her not to worry about it. He was comforting her that night, it was a friendly gesture. Noting her unsatisfied nod, he told her he wouldn't touch her or make her feel uncomfortable. If he ever did, he wanted her to tell him. All he wanted was her to feel safe with him.

And then he uneasily presented her with a bouquet of sunflowers. Uni held them, surprised and confused. _It's…not supposed to be romantic, _he clarified. _I'm just answering your question. It's not just the deceased who receive flowers. _Shouichi pressed his lips together and turned away, feeling a little bit embarrassed.

Uni's trust in him solidified. He was all she had. And, perhaps, he would be all she would ever need…

* * *

Uni noticed the silence of the cemetery, her sobs having subsided. Even the trees, prone to whispering at the mere caress of a passing breeze, were hushed and listening to the girl's recollection of a bitter, unfinished story. They waited in vain for a conclusion, but she had none to offer. Not even _she_ knew when it was finally the end. Was it when her mother had gone away? When she began living with Shouichi Irie?

Was it the day she met Gamma? The first day her eyes caught his scarlet tie, reminding her of her mother's appreciation for life? The day she had served the him red-colored tea he didn't drink, and wondered if he was jus as afraid of life as she was?

But maybe there was no "end" for her.

Maybe she started again, silently, effortlessly, without even knowing, herself.

Uni stood, taking deep breaths and letting out the last few sniffles. She stared at the orchids sitting patiently by the marker. The cemetery didn't let real flowers stay too long, and within a few days a worker would have already disposed of them, leaving her mother's grave bare.

But she couldn't bring herself to buy artificial flowers for her. A small part still clung to her mother, never letting go. As long as she brought her _real_ flowers, she was still acknowledging that her mother deserved life, that fakes weren't worthy of gracing her mother's resting place.

Uni couldn't let go of the ingrained mentality, and she knew that very well. The day she brought imitation flowers would be the day when she would be freed of the grudge she had against life. And she could live without feeling regret that her mother couldn't be smiling with her, without feeling like she had the burden of _two_ people to breath for, to survive for; her mother and herself. She could let her go, and not think that she had to _be _her mother, forget "Uni," and prove to the world that they had not taken away someone who still had so much to live for.

When would that day come?

That day, so necessary for her, a day she both craved and feared.

_Can I, Mama? Is it alright?_

_Can I be strong for just me…?_

She stepped back from the grave. "I'll be back next year, Mama." Then, it will be two years.

But it was an appointment she would always keep. She would not let herself forget.

And when she stood before her mother again, she hoped she would have something more to offer besides tears and flowers, more to say than just an apology and a promise to return.

Today, it was only one year.

And even after one year, Uni could not bring herself to say "Good-bye."

* * *

**A/N: **I…really went off with this chapter :T I had planned for Uni to visit Aria and return to the café, but it turned into a flashback or sorts. So instead of a super long chapter, I'm posting the memorial part separately, and I'll post her return to work (and Gamma) on it's own. I'm sorry if this was depressing to read! I'll try to have the next chapter be light and cheerful. I feel kind of bad for making Uni and Gamma's conversations so awkward- Oh, and the italicized one-liners before and during the memory are present-Uni's thoughts as she's remembering. The italicized sentences in the paragraphs are spoken by the people in the memory. Just to clarify, if I had some of you confused. My apologies if that was the case!

And thank you all for your wonderful reviews! They really make me a happy writer! =D


	6. the sound of shattering

**[chapter 06: the sound of shattering]**

She had left a part of herself behind with the slumbering.

Her heart ached and was heavy with tears she still needed to cry.

And with every step she took from that place, it filled and filled even further. Slowly, but definitely, beginning to spill. She wished she could rip away the dam and finally overflow. She didn't want to be left with stagnated feelings. Even if she lost every other feeling a person could possibly have, she did not want to be left with those tears.

Her mother wouldn't want to see her daughter erode from the inside, rotting, becoming unrecognizable.

The sun greeted the girl who walked away from her mother but still carried her in a teeming heart.

Holding the tears because they and the woman were now inseparable in the girl's eyes.

* * *

Uni let out a breath she half-knew she had been holding. It was surprisingly…_normal._ He was sitting by the window, as usual. His attention was directed at the people walking paths invisible to him, as usual. He ordered a hot drink, as usual.

She had thought things would be different. For some reason, Uni thought the visit to her mother had made her more open, more willing to reach out and feel beyond the glass that separated her from him, her from the world. But it wasn't glass. And yet, she was held back.

Her mother's eyes, she could feel them on her, in front of her, and on the man who sat unknowingly.

_Please don't. Please, just watch me. _

_I promise I won't say anything that will make you sad._ Thinking those words, she felt guilty. Was it her mother she was talking to, or herself? Maybe it _was_ glass that held Uni back; yes, she could be so fragile and transparent.

Her steps were leaden as she walked to the table with a cup of coffee, hot and bitter. A girl walking, dull and unyielding, and holding passionate resentment.

_Clink_. The sound of the cup against the table.

"Thank you, Miss Uni." And his voice was smooth, as it always was. She nodded in reply, trying not to look but catching his smile and wishing she had kept her eyes downcast. His hand brushed hers when he reached to lift the cup, a hummingbird's touch. Almost nothing, while at the same time, very much _there._

_Clink._

Gamma brought the cup to his lips and, like always, didn't seem to mind the forceful taste. He looked at her, sitting at the counter watching the minutes the same way he watched people: feigned interest and a veiled yearning for something else. So he smiled and wondered what she would say to his request.

"Miss Uni. If it isn't too much trouble…?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Would you…sit a bit with me?"

_Clink. _The sound of her glass being touched from the outside.

"I…really, I don't think…" Her faced burned slightly. He must be aware that he was the only person who came to the café when she worked. But, since that _was_ the case, it should be alright to sit with him.

Right?

"I'm sorry if I…" He averted his gaze, traces of a smile lingering but only because he was too ashamed to frown.

"No, I guess…I could. For a bit?" Uni could feel eyes on her, her mother's or Gamma's? Who was encouraging and who was reluctant? Both? Neither?

The sound of her footsteps on the tile, gradual and hesitant. The sound of her racing heart. Breathing, breathing, breathing.

Was she being pushed or pulled?

Or was this all on her own?

She stopped when she arrived at the chair across from him, hand hovering and waiting for him to tell her he was only joking. And she could laugh with him while chastising herself on the inside, an "I told you so" in her own voice but attached to her mother smiling visage.

But Gamma just looked on, hope dancing in his eyes and silencing his lips.

The sound of the chair being moved across the floor.

And it sounded like a girl pressing against the glass to meet those outside hands.

Uni felt strange, sitting with him, looking as if they were dining together instead of a waitress and her customer. Discomfort, make her bold. "Mr. Gamma, how long have you…been coming here?" If she remembered correctly, he was already a regular when she started working, which was several months after her mother had passed away. She felt far away from the girl who had sat beside her mother's bed a year ago.

He pondered her question, scratching his blond hair as he mentally counted the months in his head. "I'd say…well, not even two years, yet. I think it was around the time I moved here, too." He stopped himself from beginning to ramble, and smiled at the young woman. He hoped his answer satisfied her.

Uni perked up a bit. "Always at this time?"

"No…It was spontaneous, really. I came when I needed to unwind, regardless of the time. After things got settled I was able to create a routine for myself." He paused. "I like it when it isn't crowded."

Uni nodded and chewed her lip, both blushing at his little confession and contemplating whether she should ask about a certain woman who also enjoyed her time here at this café. "…I like it here." Well…that certainly wasn't her question.

"I do, too." He grinned with charm and took another sip of his coffee.

Uni folded her hands in her lap and looked out the window, his smile too much for her in this room full of eyes, only two pairs of them belonging to living, breathing beings. She couldn't bring herself to ask about Aria. Maybe he hadn't ever seen her, and she would be stuck with the obligation to explain the woman to him. If she lied, what if he knew? She would keep silent. Better than being _forced_ into silence while choking on partial lies and muddy truths. And if he_ had_ seen her mother, well…maybe she didn't want to know. Maybe he saw a different Aria, a side her daughter never knew. One that laughed without a care, who talked about anything without having to worry about a daughter listening. Uni wanted to be sure _she_ was the only one who knew Aria, every trait and every fault. Be it a lie or not, it was her selfish comfort.

"Miss Uni?" A voice disrupted her thoughts. She welcomed it. "Are you a recent mover, too? Or did you always live here?" Genuine interest, or was she just hopeful?

"I…moved here. A year ago." As if she could ever forget how long ago that day was. "Before that…I lived near the edge of town." A house that held memories she had to carry with her in fragments. It was someone else's home, now. Uni hoped they weren't stepping on the leftover pieces. "It's a bit lifeless there. There's more to offer, here." Probably the most honest thing she's ever told him.

"Oh, I agree."

Uni rubbed her neck, feeling wrong that she decided to sit with him even though she liked him and thought he was nice. She stood up and proceeded to the counter, not noticing his confused expression, and returned with the coffee pot and a mug for herself. After refilling his cup, she poured the dark liquid in her own and added a good dose of cream and sugar.

The heat of the coffee was on par with that of her own skin.

The two sat wordlessly, drinking in their own interpretations of bitterness.

Every time she took in the scalding coffee, it seemed to threaten her, to warn her away from something she couldn't understand. A natural reflex trying to protect her from a danger she couldn't see with eyes alone. Frightening, it was. But almost _soothing_, as well. Her body was, after all, inexperienced at differentiating "danger" and "freedom." Not to say that her mind was all too quick about picking up on the false signals, but her body was her vital link to everything apart from the pain.

Both Uni and Gamma startled when the clock struck one in the afternoon. An upbeat tune accompanied the change of hours and broke uncomfortably into their respective thoughts. Gamma eyed the clock and shifted his stare to Uni, apologetically smiling.

"I should get going, now."

He rose from his seat, and Uni followed suit a bit too quickly. "Um, it's alright. It's…on the house," she mumbled when she saw him taking his wallet out to pay. She actually quite enjoyed today, despite her awkward socializing abilities, and decided a cup of coffee was worth even a few words of conversation. And a dreading feeling crept up on her, wondering how much he would add to his usual tip for her company.

Gamma merely grinned and opened his wallet, politely ignoring the young woman's offer. He placed down a generous bit of money, at least by Uni's standards.

"But…that's a bit much…"

"Ah." He noticed her discomfort. "It's for your cup of coffee, Miss Uni." 'And nothing more,' his pleasant tone seemed to imply. "I'm really happy we talked more today."

_Me, too. _"Are you sure? Abut paying, I mean…" A strange pressure building inside, not stopping for anything.

"It's wrong for a gentleman to pass the check onto his female companion." A chuckle. "But, this gentleman would like to know if she would be happy to join him for lunch sometime?"

Uni's mouth quivered slightly, half-smiling and half-grimacing and hoping he only saw the former on her bewildered face. _He's asking, and I want to. He's asking, and I _should. _Mama-_

And before she could ask her mother what she should do, a "Yes" jumped out of her mouth. Her own voice left her stunned. But she went with it, completely unsure of him and of herself. "That sounds like…it'd be fun."

Uni smiled, defeating the tears that wanted her to retract her acceptance.

And he returned her smile, knowing absolutely nothing behind those blue eyes; knowing nothing and wanting to know everything.

"What day are you free, Miss Uni?"

"Well…tomorrow? Or the day after…I only work the first shift, so…" Her gaze went to the bills on the table beside two empty cups. "Tomorrow…?" Propelling past every single protest her being bombarded her with. The woman in her mind just watched her.

_Say something, please…!_

_Tell me I'm wrong!_

A silent plea directed at the woman, as well as the man standing before her.

"Tomorrow, then." Silence from the woman. "I'll come when your shift ends. Around this time, right?" He really was trying to be polite about her lack of customers.

"Noontime is good, too…" She appreciated the gesture.

"Tomorrow at noon." Gamma straightened his tie and flashed his crooked grin. "It's a date, then. Have a lovely day, Miss Uni." He gave a slight wave as he made to open the café door.

Uni lifted her frozen hand and waved back. "You, too…thank you." Words of gratitude that were deeper than she had intended.

He walked out, sounding the café bell as he did. Uni listened to the sound for a moment. A few jingles and then it ceased, hanging dull and gold above her head.

What a strange sound.

It reminded her of breaking glass.

Uni went to lock the door, ending her shift, and went to her room.

She didn't even notice the shattered glass she left behind.

* * *

**A/N: **I want to say…"finally"? O-O;; It definitely makes writing future chapters easier! I hope I can finish one or two more before I start school next week. I mean, I really should be writing this instead of even more one-shots this pairing inspires! xD Writing these two is such a pleasure, though. Aria, too =)

As always, I'm really grateful for your reviews! Thank you so much for taking the time to read this story~!


	7. once more, igniting the feeble fire

**[chapter 07: once more, igniting the feeble fire]**

The sun, after reaching it's peak in the sky, fell with the dying minutes. The once-brilliant blue of the day blazed feverishly before surrendering itself to the jeweled night. Sounds of voices ebbed and flowed from café, where the owner helped customers in his typical stoic fashion, cracking a rare smile at banters he overheard.

Above the chattering, in a room growing darker save for a lit candle, Uni sat, chin rested in clasped hands and recalling the days events. Over and over in her head they played, like a film she needed to repeat in order to savor every detail and piece together every connection. The man's face. Her mother's gravestone. His smooth words. The sound of the leaves scraping against the cemetery grounds. The kindness of his invitation. The taste of her salty tears and memories stirred by her visit.

She had accepted. She made plans to see him. Uni slid her hands over her face and forced her eyes shut. Her heart was still jumping and her stomach wouldn't take any food she tried to eat. She prayed the hours until the next day would pass slowly. Slowly, so she could calm herself, so she could remove the terrible guilt eating at her conscious. Slowly, so she could forget that she had cried over her mother and shared a cup of coffee with the man in the same day.

It was so unfamiliar to her, the feeling of wanting, and the feeling of needing to repel. She desired guidance, she craved _words. _

But who would she receive them from?

Uni had to lead herself. She had to hope that the rest of her would follow.

The voices remained below her, and eyes above her. They were waiting for her, waiting for her to see what they saw. A life that wasn't tilted slightly, a road that didn't end within the next few steps.

Uni stood and blew out the dancing flame. The liquid wax rippled at her breath.

Oh, the _power_ she felt when she extinguished the light.

She could feel it. She was melting. As hard as she tried to fight against it, she was changing. Her fire was burning her, stripping away the outside, the inside. Melting her away. Like a candle, standing tall yet frigid, fighting against a flame that was lit on a whim, she was changing. Like a candle, reaching for something invisible in the sky, she touched the sun and caught the embers.

It burned, this slow shedding of a skin she no longer needed. Burned like the ice that had kept her away, like the fire that was coaxing her into its quavering embrace.

Burned like the unspoken pleas, like the longing in her heart. Burned like the skies before they became the ashes of the night.

Uni crawled into bed, the last wisps of smoke vanishing into the silent shadows. Yes, she had vanquished the flame, but it would quietly awaken once more. And her eyes, blue like the ocean that merely kissed the shores, would watch the fire lapping away the pain from the inside out.

* * *

**A/N: **I am so sorry, first for the insanely slow update, and secondly for the insanely short chapter. I had this written for some time, but I had wanted to include their outing, as well. Forgive me for guiltily posting this! I haven't forgotten about this story, but RL things are tripping me up Dx I promise the next chapter will be a better read! Thanks for bearing with me!


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